Fun with bargain hunting

While shopping on Saturday, I managed to snag this 1970 Jackson 5 souvenir program from WhyLouisville for four dollars. It's got loads of great pictures, fifth grade-level writing and four balloons (I think) that managed to stay in the program for thirty seven years. Some highlights from the story of The Jackson 5 included in the program:

+ "...three year old Janet who shows promise of becoming a songstress."

+ "Wherever the boys go, they are recognized, mostly by little girls, and while one or two girls are delightful to have around, crowds are dangerous and the girls often get carried away with hysterical adulation."

+ "They live with no jealousy and lots of respect for each other. If this sounds unusual, you have to remember that their father is an unusual man who treats each of them with deep respect."

+ From 11-year-old Michael's profile: "They call Jermaine 'Big Head,' Marlon 'Liver Lips' and me 'Big Nose.'"

+ Also Michael: "'Problems?' he asks. 'I don't have any problems--not a one. I guess the worst one would be if I was conceited, but I don't have those kinds of problems now...maybe when I get older.'"

+ From Jermaine's: "Jermaine enjoys good health now, but had a serious kidney problem when was nine. 'I ate a whole box of salt and had to be rushed to the hospital. They scared me at first, because they had to transfer blood."

Picture highlights:

If Jim Nabors ever got that close to my face, I'd recoil in terror as well. This was from The J-5's appearance on The Jim Nabors Show. Michael Jackson at 11 was thousands of times cooler than Jim Nabors ever could have hoped to have been. Look at his expression. Kid knows what's up.




This is Michael's balloon. The odds that four of these stayed in the program as long as they did are probably about the same as the ones that say I'd contract some kind of illness by trying to blow them up with my mouth. But if you think I'm not hanging Marlon's "Just call my name...I'll be there!" balloon above my bed, you're crazier than Michael.



This a page advertising the Motown fan club. Items you can order include a Motown Carry-All Bag (as long as whatever you wanted to carry was less than 13 inches long), a Motown Mobile (for your baby, I guess) and wallet size photos (to pretend that David Ruffin or Smokey Robinson is your cousin). And you'd definitely be the coolest kid in school if you had a Motown pennant in your room instead of something homo like Ohio State.


So, what'd we learn? Well, La Toya used to spell her name Laytoya, Tito likes girls that are "just right-not too slender, but not too round," and Jermaine was a hardcore salt fiend. Not bad for four bucks.