Sounds like an ordinary Monday night to me

I usually drink a lot of booze, then dress up in my cow costume (vertical spots make me look thinner). After I dawn the cow I usually go over to my neighbors house and piss all over their porch, then I proceed to chase around children on the street.

THIS REALLY HAPPENED AMERICA! While your worrying about your "shaky economy" we got drunk cows running the streets and chasing our young. WAKE UP! Your 401K can't help you when Michele Allen of Middletown, Ohio brings the pain.