FAIR WARNING: Avoid Funky Cold Medina

This is a public service announcement to advise against the use of "Funky Cold Medina".
A type of peach and cranberry Vodka Cocktail, Medina is hazardous and deadly when used inappropriately. Even Role Models the likes of Tone Loc Have fallen victim to it's devilish appeal.
Median alone is perfectly safe for most any application. But when the drink is served cold and "funky" it produces a love potion that can produce any of the following effects:(as noted by Tone loc)





1. Beastiality
"So I gave some to my dog, when he began to big
And then he licked his bowl and he looked at me
And did the wild thing on my leg"

2. Cross Gender Relations
"So I took her to my crib
and everything went well as planned
But when she got undressed it was big old mess
Sheela was a man"

3. Unintended marital Proposals
"She had a few drinks, I´m thinking soon what I´d be getting,
But that´s when she starting talking ´bout plans for a wedding,"

These are just a few incidents where Medina served cold and "funky" has produced unwanted effects. A straight and moral man, "Loc", was subject to these hellish tortures due to this drink. But Tone has some sound advice or at least a rebuttle:

1. Beastiality
" You know what I´m saying
I got every dog in my neighborhood breaking down my door
I got Spuds McKenzie, Alex from Strolls
They won´t leave my dog alone with that medina thing"

2. Cross Gender Relations
" I threw him out
I don´t fool around with no Oscar Meyer wiener
You must be sure that the girl is pure for the funky cold medina.
You know,
Ain´t no plans with a man,
This is the 80s and I´, down the ladies,
Break it down"

3. Unintended marital Proposals
"I said "wait, slow down love, not so fast, I´ll be seeing ya",
That´s why I found you don´t play around with the funky cold medina"

So kids, Heed the words of the Great Tone Loc' and steer clear of the "Funky Cold Medina"