Quotes to get you over the humpness of Wednesday

"Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent." - Fredrick Nietzsche
"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on." - Winston Churchill
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that." - George Carlin
"I never fucked a ten, but one night, I fucked five twos." - George Carlin
"Boy, those French: They have a different word for everything!" - Steve Martin
"First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me." - Steve Martin
- “There’s nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends that are going to hell.” - Steven Colbert
"We declared war on terror—it’s not even a noun, so, good luck." - Jon Stewart
"I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land." - Jon Stewart
"Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them’s making a poop, the other one’s carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge." - Jerry Seinfeld
"Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there’s your diamond in the rough." - Larry David
"My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet." - Rodney Dangerfield
"Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes." - Rodney Dangerfield
"Gas is getting so expensive I’m gonna ride a mexican to work."- Chris Rock
"Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to." - Chris Rock
"I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot." - Chris Rock
"Josh you need to get you a fast food woman." - Loye Hammers
"Hootie, you ain't getting in." - Nate Givens
"Awesome." - Chad Tuggle