Inside this woman's head

Boy, I sure love movies. I'm here with my family, it's a sunny Saturday afternoon, and I can't wait to see...what am I seeing again? The Bourne Ultimatum? My grandson tells me it's the the third one, but I haven't seen the first two. Oh well, I bet I can follow it. After all, I won the P.S. 117 Fifth Grade Spelling Bee, I'm sure I can figure out this moving picture!

::Movie starts::

Boy, that Matt Damon sure is handsome. He's no Rock Hudson, though! There's no way that man was gay. To have all those ladies? No sir! Hmmm. I wonder if my son thinks Rock Hudson liked men. I'd better ask. (Meanwhile, Matt Damon is acting the hell out of constructing important backstory.) "HEY, BILL, DO YOU THINK ROCK HUDSON WAS GAY? NO? WHAT? THE MOVIE? YEAH, DOESN'T HE REMIND YOU OF ROCK HUDSON?"

Bill was unhelpful. I still think he reminds me of Rock. That kid in front of me turned around and gave me a look when I asked my son. He probably just doesn't know who that is. Probably because he's not a Negro actor. That's all my grandson seems to like. Actually, he seems to like a fellow named The Rock, I think it is. Sorta like Rock Hudson!

This movie's moving too fast for me. Why did he shoot that guy? Who was that? Guess I better ask again. Will the other people around me mind if I talk? Probably not. In fact, they probably have the same questions. After all, I've been paying attention the whole time. "HEY BILL, WHY DID HE SHOOT HIM? WHAT'S HE DOING NOW? WHY IS THIS CAMERA SO SHAKY?" Another dirty look from that kid. Someone needs to teach him some manners.

(Meanwhile, Matt Damon's almost wrapped up the trilogy.)
Oh no, that man's going to shoot him! I better let everyone in the audience know so they won't be surprised and much of the entertainment value will be lost! "HE'S GONNA SHOOT HIM!"

Oh. That was disappointing.

Boy, what a film! I sure wish I went to the movies more!