Whenever I’m about to do something, I think, “Would an idiot do that?” And if they would, I do not do that thing.

Color TV Tonight: Species 8pm EST WGN: Hey lets all watch this movie to see Natasha Henstridge naked...no..WGN..well then shit all over that. This makes me think of the great line from Mr. David Spade regarding USA Up All Night...Three guys go walking and see a sign for the Titty Festival..."Hey let's all go to the Titty Festival" cut commercial resume..guys walking out of the festival.."Wow that sure was a great Titty Festival."

Commandment Keepers 8pm EST Public Access Channel 98: I'm not much of a church goer however when did they start throwing away some commandments, and which ones did they keep.

Murder She Wrote 11pm EST Hallmark: Episode entitled 'Mirror, Mirror on the Wall' it looks like a rival writer is lookin to put a cap in Jessica's ass.....but if I know Jessica intimately like..I know I do..the rival will probably get sliced.

THE OFFICE 9pm EST NBC: Business School...this episode was full of great quotes here are a few for your Thursday afternoon.

Michael: A boss is like a teacher. And I am like the cool teacher. Like Mr. Handell. Mr. Handell would hang out with us. And he would tell us awesome jokes. And he actually hooked up with one of the students. Um, and then like twelve other kids came forward. It was in all the papers. Really ruined eighth grade for us.

Michael: We can’t overestimate the value of computers. Yes, they are great for playing games and forwarding funny emails. But real business is done on paper, okay?

Dwight: I don’t have a lot of experience with vampires. But I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once, but by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor’s dog.
Dwight: Extraordinary events call for extraordinary actions.
Dwight: We form an allegiance …
Creed: Sure.
Dwight: … to use sudden violence.
Creed: Okay.
Dwight: Do you have the tools to turn a wooden mop handle into a stake?
Creed: What size?